This is my story. It's alive. Meaning it is still being written. It begins somewhere in the middle and doesn't yet have an ending. Its a collection of stories and reflections. These are the stories I do not share with all my family members. But I share these stories with my clients, my children and chosen family. And I share them here. They are stories hf return home to myself, re connection with my ancestral roots, gathering my medicine, remembering who I am and why I am here, on this Earth, at this time.
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November 17, 2022
Places of Power
Once upon a time in a very busy city lived a healer. Her name was Mudraya and she knew that her soul would feel the most at home in a small house in the woods. But for now she was asked to create her home and infuse it with magic in a middle of the metropolitan chaos. There was so much work to do. And for now she was guided to do this work here.
So she raised her family and did the work. One day she lost her vitality, her patience and the meaning of life. She even started loosing her compassion. And that was very precious to her!She tended to her compassion the best she could and looked for the Vitality, Patience and Meaning everywhere! She looked all over her apartment. They were nowhere to be found. She looked in the books she had. Nothing. She went to a bookstore hoping to find a new magical book that would give clues on where to find them. And again found nothing. One morning she asked the Universe Mother for a sign and the Universe responded! Sometimes the Universe communicates in very unexpected ways and this time she sent her message. Through social media. First social media post Mudraya saw was was about dreaming. Then a friend texted to ask to help her understand her dream. And finally when Mudraya pulled an oracle card on the evening of full moon what showed up was a message “listen to your dreams.” TUNING IN TO THE DREAMS Mudraya thanked the Universe for the little hints with a Moon Dance and tunned in to her dreams. She wrote a letter to her dreams and rebuilt her dream altar. She burned mugwort before bedtime because she knew that mugwort was a sacred herb from the old country. Her grandmothers worked with this plant to connect with their dreams. Mudraya made a cup of dream tea with herbs gathered by indigenous people of this land. That was her initiation into dream work! Because even though she lost something, even though she was lost herself, she always remembered how to listen to the Universe. In a fairytale dream Baba Yaga came to Mudraya. Yaga gave simple instructions to go to the Forest to Mudraya’s Places of Power. She called it Seela Spot. Mudraya asked what is this place? And as always Yaga was annoyed. She is often irritated when asked these questions as if they are the silliest questions ever. She rolls her eyes but does respond. It’s a place that returns you back to yourself, Where you begging breathing a little bit deeper and exhaling what does no serve you anymore. Where your sense of wholeness is restored. Mudraya knew exactly why her Sila spot was. It’s where her exhausted soul drops on the soft altar of moss. It’s a soft landing place. It’s gentle and welcoming of everything that’s heavy. So she ventured into the woods. She brought offerings of seeds, honey and a song of her ancestors. The Land always responded with greetings from birds. Delighted with Mudraya’s offering the Forest reveals a magical place, an altar of sorts. This spot calls Mudraya to sit on the Earth on a blanket of soft moss. A soft landing place. A blanket of forest love. The Moss reminds her how to breathe in the forest air. As a good student she sat and breathed. She knew that when she breathed long enogh and deep enough, She was always gifted a sense of grounding. Grandfather Cedar had my back. She leaned against them. Supported and held. The Cedar reminds her how to grow roots. And so She grew the roots from her toes and the cedar blessed her with a sense of belonging. She heard the Wild River roaring nearby. The river reminded her heart how to express herself through sounds. How to not be silent and let the pain out with humming, chants, roaring and weeping. Murdraya knew that the river is a shaman and with her song she can coaxing emotional pain out of human body. The river sang “allow the pain, anger and grief to be a sound. Let it out. Let us sound. Let us sing a wild song together.” So Mudraya began singing a primal song of grief and sacred rage. This song is a gateway. Through the song Mudraya entered a different reality, another world, a land of dark and forbidden emotions. It felt good to be here. It’s familiar and safe and what is forbidden in the world she lived in, is welcome here. The depression is welcome. The grief is allowed. The rage is honoured. It feels like the underworld. A land of grief. But it is her underworld. And it feels dark but safe and familiar. She could stay here forever. Here She faced the pain and with her back towards the other reality, turned away from life. It’s dark but safe. It’s heavy but warm. It almost feels like She belongs here. She caught herself thinking that she wanted to stay here forever. She was getting lost in the dark forest of heavy, forbidden emotions. suddenly she heard a Raven’s call and Her soul and awareness returned from a spirit adventure back to the river, back to the forest. The ceremony was complete. She felt the soft blanket of moss. The grandfather Cedar’s embrace. Somewhere in this reality were her children, loved ones, friends, clients. Tonight she will need to make lunches for kids and pour her love into the meals she prepares. Tomorrow she will see clients and hold space for them to be with their pain. Tomorrow she will be the Forest, the Moss, the River, the Raven and the Cedar! She exhales because she knows how to do this work of holding space. She knows because she allows her pain to be held too. She has good teachers and a Shaman that’s working with her! The river is now laughing. The true Shaman that she is, she opened a gateway into another reality, and coaxed some darkness out of Mudraya. As she returns into here and now, she stretches on the green blanket of moss, feels the grandfather’s Cedar embrace and I laughs with the River. She sees that the Moss, the Grandfather Cedar, the River, the Raven, the Forest are the true shaman teachers guiding and holding her in a sacred ceremony of cleansing and releasing. A ceremony of weeping, remembering and laughing herself back home. A ceremony where she learns how to be with them and also carry their medicine back to the world weaving a story where she is also the Forest, the Moss, the River, the Raven and the Cedar for brave souls who knock on her door. |
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